APPLICATIONS | 2012; 01

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THIS APPLICATIONS POST IS CLOSED. Please direct your attention to the new one here!

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Jake English | Homestuck | Reserved

[screwloose]

Player nickname: Cnd
Player journal: chichirinoda
Way to contact you:
Email: chichirinoda@gmail.com
AIM: hellbreakercnd
Other: Chichirinoda
Are you at least 15?: Still Y
Current Characters: Dr. Franken Stein

Character: Jake English
Fandom: Homestuck
Character Notes:
History:

Homestuck is a story about four kids who play a game, which destroys the world. John, Jade, Rose and Dave play SBURB, and get in over their heads. They contact some trolls from another universe, who also played their version of the game, which resulted in the original creation of the human universe. Through their interaction with the trolls, the kids decide to perform The Scratch, which will reset their universe and give them a chance to try again. So the kids scratch, and escape their universe, and a new universe is born.

Jake English is one of the kids destined to play the game, in the new Scratched universe.

Jake was created through ectobiology (probably by Jane in this session) and sent back in time on a meteor, crash-landing on an island in the south pacific. He was found and raised by his grandmother, Jade Harley, who was murdered when he was quite young. In the original universe, it was Jade who was raised by her grandfather Jake. Jake, of course, does not know this. When the universe was scratched, the roles of the kids and their guardians were switched, and so now Jake is to take on the role Jade played in the original universe.

The island Jake lives on is populated by Ferocious Fauna, and has several ancient ruins, which he loves to explore. The building where he lives is almost completely covered in pumpkin vines, due to his experimentations with appearification. His best friends are three youngsters of his own age, named Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker, and Roxy Lalonde. Unbenownst to all three of them (so far as we know) Dirk, Jane, and Roxy were all also created ectobiologically. Jake has never met any of these friends in person, as he lives alone on his island and they're far away. His entire social network is purely on the internet, and he lives alone with his fauna and a sparring bot that Dirk gave him.

All four kids are about to start playing a game called SBURB, something which they are being manipulated into doing by the Batterwitch, the reigning Queen of the Betty Crocker Empire, who is likely the troll Empress, Her Imperious Condescension. Roxy and Dirk seem to know this and are worried about it. Jake pretty much expects it to be a grand adventure, and Jane doesn't believe that her hero, the Batterwich, could possibly be trying to kill her.

Though Jake's grandmother is dead, he has been corresponding pen-pal fashion with Jade through much of his life. He has been upgrading a stuffed bunny in order to send it back in time and protect John Egbert, Jane's grandfather (an event that occurred earlier in the comic, though we didn't at the time know that it was Jake who did it). Jake is unaware that the Jade he's corresponding with is actually a different Jade, not his actual grandmother, but the pre-scratch version of her, in another universe. He thinks he's just corresponding with her through time, not also in another universe, and doesn't understand why it takes so much power to send things back and forth.

The night before this current, fateful day, Jane had a dream in which she witnessed Jake's body being borne through the streets of Prospit in a funeral march. Jake's dreamself had not yet awakened, and had been murdered by Jack Noir, an agent of Derse, who has taken the extraordinary step of deciding to preemptively take out the new kids' dream selves before the game has even started. It's also suspected that the Batterwitch has something to do with this.

At this point in the comic, Jake plans to get some more uranium from the ruins, then send the bunny, and then begin playing SBURB with his friends. It seems likely that he will be Dirk's server player, as this is a one-way ticket to sloppy makeouts between them, and Dirk has a major boner on for Jake. As does pretty much everyone else, apparently.

Personality:

Jake English is a young man who has lived nearly his entire life on an isolated tropical island filled with incredibly deadly mythical creatures that don't exist anywhere else on Earth, and ancient, mysterious ruins. His grandmother died when he was fairly young, and his only companion is a sparring bot designed and built by Dirk Strider. Brobot isn't exactly a normal sort of companion - in fact, their interactions largely involve fighting, and that's it. Other than that, Jake's only source of human interaction is the internet.

As such, Jake is a bit… eccentric.

He has watched every movie he can get his hands on, and loved every single one. His tastes aren't just eclectic, they are 'totally indiscriminate'. He has an obsession with firearms, the deadlier the better, and his fighting style of choice is two pistols - one for each hand. He also likes wrestling, mysteries, and skulls. A lot. He also enjoys his 'cerulean beauties' - movies with blue women definitely get both thumbs up in Jake's book.

He thinks of himself as a romantic adventurer, like out of the movies. His speaking style is like a foul-mouthed 1930s gangster, and he peppers his speech with both colourful swear words, and odd archaic terms. For example, he wouldn't say that he likes wrestling, he would say that he's a great lover of fisticuffs. Scrums and whatnot, you know? But for all that he likes to roleplay and pretend to be something out of the movies, he really is just a pretty weird fifteen year old boy who has had a dearth of real human interaction.

Overall, he's cheerful, courageous, and loyal. He prefers to do things himself, and will stubbornly finish a task he's taken on even if it's difficult or there's an easier way. For example, when Dirk offered to help him fix the bunny, saving Jake a lot of trouble and possibly even accomplishing the task better than Jake would be capable of, Jake turned him down. He felt that it was right for him to do it himself, since he had made the promise.

At this point in the comic, to be honest, there's a lot we don't know about Jake. As the main big boss of the comic is named Lord English, and Jake shares his last name, (and an obsession with skulls, the colour green and various other small hints) it's likely that Jake has some connection to this evil figure. But we don't know what it is. I'm going to assume Jake is not evil, and that if he has some connection to Lord English, he's unaware of it. As of now, everything we know about Jake corroborates this assumption. If I find out otherwise, I'll adjust as necessary.

Other: Jake's SBURB name is the Page of Hope. We don't yet know what abilities this will give him, but I'm sure it'll be released in the comic sooner or later. His strife specibus is 2x pistolkind, and he's also an accomplished wrestler.

Additional Links: let me tell you about Hamsteaks

First Person (text):

Ahoy dramadramaduck!!!

*adjusts collar and clears his throat as i step up to the virtual microphone*

Not to come off as a dadblasted ingrate but im in a bit of a pickle right now and im wondering if one of you fine gents and undoubtedly extra fine ladies as well would be willing to help me out! You see im pretty fucking sure that one of my best friends is screwing with me.

And i mean that in the OH HO HO HO LETS PLAY A PRANK ON THAT FUNNY GUY JAKE WOULDNT THAT BE THE PLUMMIEST PLUM OF A GREAT FRIGGIN IDEA sense. Not in the suggestive sense in the least if youre reading this strider i dont want to hear any of your guff!

Anyway!!

I have to admit that when it comes to technological knowhow im not the best or even the second best hacker i know. So here i sit whistling out of my bum hole and unable to surf the net unless its to ride my sweet board right up to this particular website right here. And while im sure its a frightfully interesting website i have shit to do! Not to mention i have no friggin idea how to fix this problem myself. So i figure i shall just have to appeal to the kind and beneficent masses and hope one of you is willing and able to throw me a bone.

Please help me waterfowl enthusiasts! Youre my only hope!

Oh yes i just realized that i neglected to introduce myself like a punch-drunk twit.

Jake english at your service ladies and gents!

Third Person:

A crash echoed through the forest, reverberating from the active volcano to the pumpkin-choked jungle around the tower where Jake lived. "Jiminy fucking cricket!" Jake exclaimed in surprise, leaping up from his desk and captchaloguing the tools he was using to put the finishing touches on Terry's now partly mechanical right leg. The plush bunny didn't react.

He darted to the window, pulling his guns out of his strife deck. Their weight was comforting as they fell, one into each hand, and he leaned way out, looking around. Not that he could see much. From his vantage point, he might be at a rather high altitude, but there were so many pumpkin vines that it looked as though he was almost at ground level.

He could see a cloud of bullfairies rising up above the trees, though, mooing and chirping in distress and flying in agitated circles.

Well, that had to be the cause of the disturbance. Probably another biclops knocking down trees or some such apple sauce. They always did get rowdy when they were hungry, and they tended to go after bee hives, though Jake had no idea why. It wasn't like they ever ate the honey. It was like it was the wrong kind or something.

He sighed and glanced back into the room, considering his options. His genuine replica Lara Croft thigh holsters were hanging from one of the posts at the foot of his bed. Should he get suited up properly? Perhaps he could also don his Indiana Jones-type hat, if he could find it amongst the enormous amount of junk he had inside his captchalogue deck.

Another crash and the renewed calls of the bullfairies decided him. This was no time to be fucking around like a dumb Dora. He put his guns away and raced for the stairs. Adventure was afoot! Or at least an opportunity to deliver a good drubbing.

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[scrums_and_whatnot]

Killer diller! *double pistols and a wink*