"B!, that's not even fair!" Even the words tasted sour in my mouth as I recited them back. So what if Blair got this one thing? Why should I care so much. I knew why I cared. I wanted it all. Here I am a grown adult and I still envied my best friend. What did that say about me? It made me petty and that doesn't sit well with me. Blair and I have always shared everything so what if she's gotten this one thing from me. I can be an adult, I can be happy for my best friend, right?
I thought it'd be easier than this. Easier than sitting alone in my room and wondering why the hell Blair hasn't called me back. The bitchiness I felt from the woman was a little more than I could take. If she was so mad at me why couldn't she just tell me. So what, I had thrown a slight fit when Blair had applied to the same college as me, and she just happened to get a glowing letter of recommendation that even I could never hope to grab. Still, I felt like she was cheating, like she had to get something as purposeful as a letter to beat me. I wonder if I sound bitter.
Day Three and I still have yet to talk to Blair. I can't bring myself to do it. I spoke with Dan today. His writing is going great. I really hope that he continues on this path. I like seeing him happy. It was the one thing that put the biggest smile onto my face. I think I miss him. I wonder if it's possible for anyone to get a real third chance. Dan seems like he hasn't quite moved on from me either but, with Dan it's hard to tell. All I know is that I may be resurrecting my old crush. Great, just wait until Gossip Girl gets a load of this.
Well, it's finally happened. Blair blew up on me today in public. We had decided to have lunch at Butter. Something I knew I shouldn't have done. I could tell that it was going to get bad and I didn't even care. I told her my feelings and in typical Blair fashion, she disregarded them completely. I get so tired of her, and I know I shouldn't because of course, she is my best friend, she has for so long but...I can't help but feel betrayed and jaded by her all of the time. I wonder if I will forever have to pay for my indiscretion with Nate. It doesn't seem fair.
Chuck is coming over today. Apparently along with being Blair's boyfriend he's decided to take on the role of mediator. I like Chuck, I mean, he's my step brother and everything but his newfound redemption role is really beginning to wear on me. This is getting ridiculous. If Blair wants to bitch and moan at me some more she shouldn't send her boy toy over, I wonder if she knew that by sending Chuck I wouldn't be able to send him away. Touche, B. No one ever said you weren't smart.
Re: Serena Celia Van Der Woodsen
"B!, that's not even fair!" Even the words tasted sour in my mouth as I recited them back. So what if Blair got this one thing? Why should I care so much. I knew why I cared. I wanted it all. Here I am a grown adult and I still envied my best friend. What did that say about me? It made me petty and that doesn't sit well with me. Blair and I have always shared everything so what if she's gotten this one thing from me. I can be an adult, I can be happy for my best friend, right?
I thought it'd be easier than this. Easier than sitting alone in my room and wondering why the hell Blair hasn't called me back. The bitchiness I felt from the woman was a little more than I could take. If she was so mad at me why couldn't she just tell me. So what, I had thrown a slight fit when Blair had applied to the same college as me, and she just happened to get a glowing letter of recommendation that even I could never hope to grab. Still, I felt like she was cheating, like she had to get something as purposeful as a letter to beat me. I wonder if I sound bitter.
Day Three and I still have yet to talk to Blair. I can't bring myself to do it. I spoke with Dan today. His writing is going great. I really hope that he continues on this path. I like seeing him happy. It was the one thing that put the biggest smile onto my face. I think I miss him. I wonder if it's possible for anyone to get a real third chance. Dan seems like he hasn't quite moved on from me either but, with Dan it's hard to tell. All I know is that I may be resurrecting my old crush. Great, just wait until Gossip Girl gets a load of this.
Well, it's finally happened. Blair blew up on me today in public. We had decided to have lunch at Butter. Something I knew I shouldn't have done. I could tell that it was going to get bad and I didn't even care. I told her my feelings and in typical Blair fashion, she disregarded them completely. I get so tired of her, and I know I shouldn't because of course, she is my best friend, she has for so long but...I can't help but feel betrayed and jaded by her all of the time. I wonder if I will forever have to pay for my indiscretion with Nate. It doesn't seem fair.
Chuck is coming over today. Apparently along with being Blair's boyfriend he's decided to take on the role of mediator. I like Chuck, I mean, he's my step brother and everything but his newfound redemption role is really beginning to wear on me. This is getting ridiculous. If Blair wants to bitch and moan at me some more she shouldn't send her boy toy over, I wonder if she knew that by sending Chuck I wouldn't be able to send him away. Touche, B. No one ever said you weren't smart.