They would’ve kept on with the drinking, occasionally interrupted by talking, philosophy, and sometimes all three at once. But then sometime in the 1980s, the anti-christ was born, and that just played merry havoc with everything. To say Crowley panicked is an understatement, not to mention not very stylish of him. In his determined absolute-not-panic, he went to get Aziraphale to help him. It took a bit of persuasion, multiple bottles of wine, and the ever-present threat of being forced to watch The Sound Of Music for all eternity, but eventually, Aziraphale agreed. Something had to be done. They’d watch over the little anti-christ and make sure the apocalypse would be soundly averted.
It might’ve worked, too, if the kid they were watching turned out to actually be the anti-christ. Unfortunately, a game of three card monty played with babies went awry, the anti-christ went AWOL, and the expected hell hound went to an entirely different house. To put it in layman’s terms, shit got real. Crowley and Aziraphale journeyed to Lower Tadfield in a desperate attempt to figure out what happened and where the actual apocalypse bringing kid went off to. Their search was waylaid by people playing silly buggers with paintballs, along with accidentally striking a pedestrian with a Bentley. Don’t worry, she lived, and besides, Aziraphale healed the injured bike.
The pedestrian’s name was Anathema Device. At the time she got hit by the Bentley, she was carrying the Nice And Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. After that incident, however, Aziraphale ended up borrowing it for some time, which is the polite way of saying he stole it. Aziraphale loved books, but he specialized in misprinted bibles and, more importantly, books of prophecy. And there was not a single book of prophecy better in the world than the Nice and Accurate Prophecies. People’d sell their soul for it, if they could.
With the search put on hold and the apocalypse impending, Aziraphale did what any sensible person would do: read the book. For hours and hours and hours. Occasionally, he’d take notes, too. Very important ones, pertaining to the location of the anti-christ. Once he found out this extremely vital information, he proceeded to round up the witchfinder army, which consisted of two people at present. Then he dithered for twelve hours, because he wanted to tell Crowley about all this, but he really ought to tell heaven first.
Aziraphale went with ought. The conversation did not go very well. It didn’t get any better when he tried to call Crowley and got the answering machine. It got even worse when the current head of the witchfinder army burst in and interrupted, leading directly to Aziraphale being discorporated. The good news was that at least he wasn’t around when his bookstore burned to the ground.
Instead, he hopped around the world, unfortunately forced to spend a little time in Australia and thwarting a televangelist along the way, found a body in a relatively decent condition in England, and made his way to Tadfield via scooter and Madam Tracy. He made it there just in time for the climax. It was a very good climax, especially the part where Adam, aka the anti-christ, averted the apocalypse after all. Aziraphale even got his flaming sword back. All in all, a good time was had by all, except for the devil, the angels (not named Aziraphale), and the demons (not named Crowley), who all had to go home without getting to do any proper destroying at all.
The bookshop returned to it’s previous non-ash state, albeit with a few picture books that Aziraphale couldn’t remember purchasing. And, like any sensible people who just survived the end of the world, Crowley and Aziraphale went out to lunch.
Aziraphale’s being taken from a spot in between, after he and Crowley decide to stop the apocalypse, but before they realize they have the wrong anti-christ.
Aziraphale 2/tl;dr
It might’ve worked, too, if the kid they were watching turned out to actually be the anti-christ. Unfortunately, a game of three card monty played with babies went awry, the anti-christ went AWOL, and the expected hell hound went to an entirely different house. To put it in layman’s terms, shit got real. Crowley and Aziraphale journeyed to Lower Tadfield in a desperate attempt to figure out what happened and where the actual apocalypse bringing kid went off to. Their search was waylaid by people playing silly buggers with paintballs, along with accidentally striking a pedestrian with a Bentley. Don’t worry, she lived, and besides, Aziraphale healed the injured bike.
The pedestrian’s name was Anathema Device. At the time she got hit by the Bentley, she was carrying the Nice And Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. After that incident, however, Aziraphale ended up borrowing it for some time, which is the polite way of saying he stole it. Aziraphale loved books, but he specialized in misprinted bibles and, more importantly, books of prophecy. And there was not a single book of prophecy better in the world than the Nice and Accurate Prophecies. People’d sell their soul for it, if they could.
With the search put on hold and the apocalypse impending, Aziraphale did what any sensible person would do: read the book. For hours and hours and hours. Occasionally, he’d take notes, too. Very important ones, pertaining to the location of the anti-christ. Once he found out this extremely vital information, he proceeded to round up the witchfinder army, which consisted of two people at present. Then he dithered for twelve hours, because he wanted to tell Crowley about all this, but he really ought to tell heaven first.
Aziraphale went with ought. The conversation did not go very well. It didn’t get any better when he tried to call Crowley and got the answering machine. It got even worse when the current head of the witchfinder army burst in and interrupted, leading directly to Aziraphale being discorporated. The good news was that at least he wasn’t around when his bookstore burned to the ground.
Instead, he hopped around the world, unfortunately forced to spend a little time in Australia and thwarting a televangelist along the way, found a body in a relatively decent condition in England, and made his way to Tadfield via scooter and Madam Tracy. He made it there just in time for the climax. It was a very good climax, especially the part where Adam, aka the anti-christ, averted the apocalypse after all. Aziraphale even got his flaming sword back. All in all, a good time was had by all, except for the devil, the angels (not named Aziraphale), and the demons (not named Crowley), who all had to go home without getting to do any proper destroying at all.
The bookshop returned to it’s previous non-ash state, albeit with a few picture books that Aziraphale couldn’t remember purchasing. And, like any sensible people who just survived the end of the world, Crowley and Aziraphale went out to lunch.
Aziraphale’s being taken from a spot in between, after he and Crowley decide to stop the apocalypse, but before they realize they have the wrong anti-christ.