APPLICATIONS -- 2010; 001

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Sam Winchester || Supernatural || Challenge App || 7/?

[precogging.livejournal.com]

He's also more of a think-for-yourself-er than his brother. He was the one of the two that balked against their father's orders, the one who tried to avoid having the same life that they'd been dragged around for in their childhood. Sam just wanted to be normal, and safe, and away from the burdens of the thing that went bump in the night. He was never that mindless soldier who followed orders, and even after he started traveling around the country with his brother, he still had a mind of his own enough to question anything that didn't sit right with him. That's another thing that separates him from the rest of his family (both his brother and his father) - Sam doesn't see the world as good and evil, either. Sure, there are the separate sides, but he's the one who's willing to see the blending that can happen, and admit that there is a space in between. This is most evident when he tells Dean that they should try to contact Ruby for help. She might be a demon, but to him, seeking assistance from a demon that's got inside information and who's willing to help them is better than avoiding demons altogether. He's willing to look at the fact that maybe, just maybe, she's the one diamond in the rough – and this has happened more than once. He was willing to let Lenore (a vampire) walk away, because he didn't see her as just another vampire; he saw her as a vampire who was trying her best to survive in a world full of humans without killing them for the sustenance she needed. Sam is willing to open his eyes and his mind to the possibility of there being good guys that emerge from the side of the bad guys, and vice-versa.

Despite his desperation for normalcy and the caring, tender front he's got, though, Sam has a serious problem with keeping his anger in check. He's quicker to explode in a fit of rage than his brother, and can be kinda scary when he gets really furious. He can be very violent and dangerous in this state. He doesn't realize it, either; others recognize it in him… His brother knows that he has the potential to go darkside, and he knows that he has the potential, but sometimes he doesn't have the ability to perceive how close those bursts of anger come to what he'd be capable of doing if he gave in to the demon blood coursing through his veins.

When it comes to the knowledge that a demon bled into his mouth and that he has that blood in him, Sam tries very hard to push it down. He believes that he has good intentions, and he believes that regardless of outside influence, that he has the strength to fight what's ingrained in him. He thinks that if he balks hard enough that, no matter what, he can keep himself in check. Sam's a little bit arrogant that way. He thinks he can transcend the evil that's been forced into his very biology.

One of Sam's biggest traits, one of his defining aspects, is his dependency on and relationship with his brother. Dean is the largest influence and most important person in Sam's life. His brother is the only family he's got left. Even when their father was alive, the younger Winchester looked up to Dean much more than he ever looked up to his father. John's absence from his life led to Dean practically raising Sam on his own, and Sam has never forgotten that. He didn't like the pushiness that his dad had about taking orders and doing things mindlessly. As children, their father tried to shelter him from the world that he fought in. Dean was in the know, because it was his job to protect little Sammy, but the early years of Sam's life included one giant lie and having the wool pulled over his eyes. It was Dean who first revealed to him what was really happening; Dean, not John, was the one who took care of him and made sure he was fed, and safe. Over the years, after John stopped sheltering Sam, he began to resent his father for the life they led. Dean always had his back whenever they changed schools or locations, and Dean was always there, but John? Wasn't the nurturing type. Dean was more like a father to him, and he's always admired his brother for the ability to shoulder what he has.